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Stella's Big Brave Day!

Yesterday was a big day for Stella. We had a picnic dinner at a park near one of the neighboring towers, and afterward the kids played at on the little jungle gym. Stella toddled to the little fishy stair case and then walked up. When she got to the top, she turned around and walked back down the stairs all by herself! This is a big deal because she hasn't had much practice with stairs at all. After a while, she needed more of a challenge, so Stella headed up the stairs again, and this time to the top of the purple slide. She sat down, arranged her feet down the slide and got ready. Just as she was about to let go, she was pushed from behind. A little scary, but only a minor setback. A few minutes later Stella went to the top of the yellow slide, which is slightly higher than the purple one and has a curve in it. Once again she sat down, arranged her feet and got ready. I watched from the bottom of the slide, a little nervous about what she'd do. I saw in her eyes when she made the decision, and then she let go. She slid all the way to the bottom of the slide with a slight grimace. When she got to the bottom of the slide, I swung Stella in the air saying "Yay, you did it!" Stella smiled widely and struggled to get to the ground so she could go back for more. My big brave girl wasn't done yet. After a few more minutes of play we headed home because it was dark and the bugs were coming out. When we got home I put both kids in the tub. After a thorough washing, we emptied the tub and refilled it with fresh clean warm water. The water was high enough that Stella could bend at the waist and put her face in. She did it a few times by accident, and stood up quickly in surprise each time. Then she pushed her face in the water on purpose, but got a noseful of water when she sniffed. After a few moments of comfort from mommy, Stella was ready to take on the water again. She took a deep breath, dipped her face, then popped up and breathed again. She did it over and over. Nathan was inspired by Stella's bravery. He put on goggles and dunked his face without even plugging his nose! He even got brave enough to hold his breath as long as he could before coming back out of the water. Stella's bravery was contagious! After the bath, I brought Stella to my room for diapering and powdering and oiling. She smelled great and was ready for bed. We called Tyson, who was on watch to say goodnight. Stella really wanted the phone, but it was Nathan's turn to tell daddy about his day and to say goodnight. Stella kept attacking Nathan, trying to wrench the phone from his grasp. I suggested Nathan get off my bed to avoid further attacks from Stella. He hopped off the bed and headed out of my room. Stella scooted toward the edge of my bed. I assumed she'd stay there, since that's what she always does. Stella scooted and scooted, when she reached the edge of my bed, she took a breath, and leaped off the bed to the floor! I looked at Stella in surprise. She looked up at me, waiting for my reaction. I didn't want her to burst into tears, so I said, "YAAAAAY!!" Stella stood up, then walked away. A few minutes later she was back on my bed, when Nathan walked back into the room with the phone. Stella wanted that phone bad, so she did the most logical thing. She quickly scooted to the edge of my bed, and jumped off. No pause for breath, no considering looks. She just jumped. She reached the ground and looked to me for assurance. Once again I said, "Yaaaaaaay!" Stella stood up and walked away again. Finally Stella got a turn with the phone, and said her goodnights to Daddy. Later that night, once the kids were in bed, I reflected on how brave Stella was. Nathan wasnt nearly the daredevil that Stella seems to be becoming! I wonder if Stella is so brave because she's a second child, and she follows her brother everywhere he goes. She's such a sweet baby, but I can see the beginnings of a wild child now when I look in her eyes. I think this is just the first of many of Stella's big brave days. 

Sung, as in the Mtume song Juicy Fruit

Actual conversation between Ty and me this evening:

Me: "Oh wow, I can really smell those new (Lysol) wipes!"

Ty: "I know, the first one was really stinky"

Me: "Stinky? The new lavender wipes?"

Ty: "Yeah, the first one is really soaked in, and it's stinky-fresh."

Me: Blank stare "I don't understand what stinky-fresh is."

At this point in the conversation Ty had just put a mouthful of Listerine in to gargle, and he nearly choked on it after seeing the very real confusion on my face. I then began to laugh, because I can't let anyone laugh alone. Finally Ty spit out the Listerine and we both got control of ourselves.

Ty: Stinky-fresh is when you first open something that smells good, but it's so strong it kind of stinks.

 Me: Ah. Stinky-fresh.

Pass the Wine Please

Today was definitely one of the most stressful I have endured as a parent so far. Early this afternoon I was wrestling Stella into a pair of pants while Nathan emptied the stroller. We were going to meet our friends for a play date at Huis Ten Bosch, and Nay was helping me out because Stella was being impossible. She giggled madly while I tried to hold her squirmy self down to dress her. I had just finished buttoning her up, when I heard Nathan's pain cry in the front room. I called him into Stella's room, certain he had just smashed a finger or something along those lines. When he walked into the room crying hysterically, holding his face, I looked up, ready to soothe his little feelings and offer an ice pack. Then I saw his face. Blood was dripping from beneath his hand, and his face was streaked with tears. I was unable to control my shock, but I quickly collected myself and used a baby wipe to clean his little mouth and hands. Then I looked and tried to identify the cause of the blood. It was pretty unclear, but I figured he'd just bitten his lip, so I hopped up and led him to the kitchen to grab an ice pack. I figured I'd try to get a better look at the damage, so I could call our friends and tell them exactly how late we'd be. I lifted Nathan's lip, and tried wiping away the blood to see what exactly was wrong. That's when I realized how bad it really was. Nay's gums were swollen and full of blood, his loose tooth was even more loose, and I could see that his gums were sliced up to the point that I thought I could see through to the tooth underneath. I asked Nathan again what happened, and he was still unable to tell me. So I called Tyson in a panic. I told him I might need him to meet me at medical. Ty calmed me down and asked what happened. After a brief explaination, Ty reminded me to stay calm, then told me to go to the medical on our home base. I called my friends, who met me outside our building, and we walked as a group to the base medical. Once there, we were lucky to be seen by the dentist on duty within a few minutes. After a brief examination he determined that Nathan's poor twice damaged tooth needed to come out. Nathan wouldn't consent to getting a shot of novocane, so with only topical numbing ointment, Nay's tooth was pulled out with forceps. I could barely bear to look, and was nearly in tears and praying constantly while watching Nathan go through having a unmedicated tooth extracted. However, it was over, quickly, and now he's excited to have a tooth to leave under his pillow tonight. His gums are bruised, and there is a cut that thankfully didn't need stitches. It was a little early, but he's lost his first tooth. And Tyson and I have been quick to point out that loosing any more teeth won't be nearly so painful. I'm still unclear on what exactly happened, but from what I can glean from Nay's spotty explaination, he hit his mouth on the hard edge of the stroller umbrella. So now that it's all said and done, I'm headed to my ladies' Bible study, and I think I will bring a bottle of wine with me! Luckily it's a short walk away. 

New Things

Well, we’re three days into the new year, and already it’s been interesting. On New Year’s Eve I had to work, but afterward we took the kids on a walk to Huis Ten Bosch, the little Dutch theme park next to the base housing we live on. We walked through gardens of light, and we drank hot lemonade while we watched fireworks. I can’t believe how much the kids have grown. Nathan is such a kid now. He is so articulate, and so funny.  His sense of  humor is really developing, and runs the range from slapstick to frat boy. Today we bought new underwear for the new year, and Nathan snickered the whole time because his underwear have (sports) balls on them. Stella is growing like a weed. She has finally mastered crawling, even though she does it by stepping on one foot and bringing the back knee up to meet it. She’s getting fast, and today she crawled all the way to the kitchen to play with refrigerator magnets. Her world is getting bigger every day. She also started drinking through straws. She still needs a little help with it, but I’m impressed at how quickly she grasped the concept. It started a few days ago with a juice box, and she’s applied the concept to regular sized straws. Ty and I have started counting calories in anticipation of starting Weight Watchers. We wanted to start on the first of the year, but were unable to because of an unforeseen billing address issue. So we’re just going it on our own while we sort it out. I’m really happy with the effort we’re making so far.

Poor Nathan is sick. He’s only ever been sick enough to throw up twice in his whole life. Which makes me oddly ill equipped to handle my five year old being sick. However, if there’s one aspect of mothering I can do well, it’s this. I remember my mom being so capable, so gentle and loving when I was sick. And it seems like second nature that I immediately shift into this nurturing gear. And he’s basking in it! When I cuddle him and stroke his little face he smiles with the most serene expression I’ve ever seen on his hyperactive little face.  I do worry that he could possibly be more sick than I think, and that I’ll somehow miss it due to inexperience. But as far as the snuggling, and the comforting, I have that part down. Ty is out buying ginger ale, and I am listening carefully for another bout of retching. So far, a very eventful start to this year.

 

True Love

Me: Dying is so impersonal nowadays. I don't want the last thing I see on this Earth to be some doctor's face, I want it to be yours. 

Ty: Ok, I will try to make that happen.

Me:What about you? What do you want your last sight to be?

Ty: Your face.

Me: Oh!.... well then we'll have to die at the same time.

Ty: Facing each other. Or maybe at least a picture.

Me:Hmmmm. (long pause) I'm not gonna lie, I totally expected you to say the boobs of my new young wife. 

Ty: The perky boobs of my new young wife.

These are the moments…

Last night during Stella’s 2AM feeding, I stopped my brain and started paying attention to what was happening right then. I noticed how my body instinctively curled around Stella, her little feet braced on the tops of my thighs. Our bellies were resting against each other, and I could feel the rhythm of her breath. Two breaths, then a  gulp, two breaths, gulp. My finger traced the rose petal skin on her bicep, while her little arm embraced what it could of my other breast.  I stroked the back of her head, and marveled at the thickening cap of feather soft hair. I listened to the sound of her breaths, her swallows, and her hums of contentment. While the house slept around me, I was the only person awake to witness the simple beauty of my nursing child. I alone got to smell the sweetness of her skin, and feel her small weight in my arms. I carried her back to bed when she finished eating, and  kissed her tiny nose before I laid her down to sleep until her next feeding. I’m so glad I took the time to pay attention to this. This is a reason to praise God.   

Giantism??

Nathan was getting dressed for today, which he does usually with no help from me. However, this time he needed my help. He came running into the room in what appeared to be a pair of rather tight and a little bit too short cargo shorts. He begged, "Help me momma!" while he struggled with the snap. I turned him toward me and looked at the snap. The two sides of the fly wouldn't even meet over the flat plane of his belly. I stared a moment in confusion, my first thought being, "He could NOT have grown this fast without me noticing!" I looked closer at the shorts and realized they were tight all over, not just the waist. I asked aloud, "What size are these??" I pulled the shorts off while he stood staring at the cartoons on the TV. I looked at the waist band fully expecting to see 2T. Instead I was surprised and even more confused to see the number 6!! I grasped the tag in the shorts and fully unfolded it, and saw the characters 6M. For a brief second I was mystified, then I realized: these aren't shorts!! Nathan was trying to put on Stella's little cargo pants! I was pretty impressed at how a little pair of six month old pants nearly fit him like shorts. I also thought is was really funny, because it reminded me of Alice in Wonderland when she drinks the potion and becomes too tall for her dress!

A New Record

Being a parent sometimes means having to not laugh when our child says or does something really funny, but also really wrong. I have been getting really good at squashing a laugh, or any trace of a smile when Nathan says or does pretty much anything, because pretty much everything he does is hilarious. This evening, I outdid myself when Nathan came to me with the following problem. He had been assigned the task of putting his books back on their shelves, and had been doing plenty of whining about it. In order to entice him to work a little quicker (or at all) I promised to let him help me make dinner when he was done. After a few minutes of scrambling around, he came to where I was reading my book and told me he was finished. I hopped up and said, "Ok, let me check it out, then we'll go make dinner."

Nathan looked at me in horror and said, "Check my room? Just a minute!" Then ran away to actually clean it. A few minutes later he came back to me and said, "I just really need your help." 

I looked at him in confusion. "Nathan, if your books aren't picked up, why did you come in here a minute ago and tell me they were. Were you lying?" 

Nathan looked at me a moment, the realization that he was caught was clear in his eyes. Then he brightened up and said, "The sun makes circles on my face," he gestured in a circle around his face, "and those circles, they just tell me to lie all the time" The sentence sort of trailed off, and he looked as though even he knew that this was far fetched. 

I stared for one moment, feigning disbelief, but really trying to get control over the sudden need to giggle. Finally I asked, "Are you telling me your freckles made you lie?"    

Nathan looked relieved and said, "Yeah!" As though it was the most obvious thing in the world that someone's freckles would compel them to lie. 

I held my breath a moment and by sheer will power managed to tell him to go see about finishing his books and I'd be there in a minute. I feel like I just won the parent Olympics. Shouldn't there be some kind of prize for this?

Summer Days

It’s been incredibly busy around here lately. But not the stressful, I-need-a-vacation, kind of busy. It’s been really awesome and fun around here. Nathan started bowling camp this week on Main Base, which is awesome. I love that there are so many activities for children here, and I really love that the community is small enough that there’s a pretty constant group of people we know at every event. I was worried we wouldn’t see any of our friends today, because the camp is not at “our” base. However, we’ve apparently got a wider circle of friends than I thought, because several people we knew from previous activities were there. We have bowling for the rest of the week, then on Saturday we’re going to Nimitz park for the Freedom Festival, which is out big Independence day party. If it’s anything like last year, there will be bouncy houses, carnival games, food, music (Bowling For Soup is headlining!) and fireworks in the evening. Hopefully the  weather will be better, because last year it rained the entire time! But today was sunny and beautiful, so I have hope!  The weather has been warm, and I can’t tell if we’re just used to the humidity, or if it’s actually better than last year, but it’s been much more pleasant here. Of course, we’ve also been spending every spare hour at the pool across the street! Nathan has shown a marked interest in Japanese castles, so Ty and I have decided to make some day trips to local castles. There are two very nearby, one of which is Kumamoto Castle, one of the top three in the entire country! I’ve also heard that on a nearby island is not only a castle, but a beach! We’re definitely beginning to enjoy Japan a lot more now that we’re better at getting around. Both kids are fast asleep now, Nathan because he played hard today. Stella because she kicked and giggled until she got tired and fell asleep. Now Ty and I are going to snuggle down and sleep the sleep of happy parents with sleeping children!

The Beginning of Stella

Stella turned three months old last week, and it feels like the time has flown by. I can’t believe that a few short months ago I was pregnant, and now I have this little girl with big blue eyes, and a personality all her own. This is the story of her birth:

On Saturday morning March 12, Tyson, Nathan and I were waking up at 6AM to go to the train station. We were supposed to go to the Naval base in Yokosuka so I could attempt a V-Back at the military hospital. Since the Japanese are risk averse people, they don’t allow women who have had a prior C-Section to attempt a vaginal birth. However, I believe that child birth is a natural process and not a medical emergency, so we were willing to travel far to try and give Stella the most natural birth we could.  The day before on March 11th we were in the travel office getting our train tickets when we heard about a huge earthquake that had struck off the coast of Northern Japan. Since we hadn’t felt the earthquake, we were doubtful about how large it had been, and when early reports estimated a possible tsunami at six feet high, we were unconcerned. We swam in waves higher than six feet in San Diego! We heard that the Naval hospital had been evacuated, but we were confident that this was just precautionary and temporary. However, we gave our phone number to the medevac staff, and were given their cell number so we could call and ask if the trip was still on.

This brings us back to Saturday morning, we still hadn’t heard anything about Yokosuka turning away medevacs, so we continued with our plan of putting our luggage in the car and heading to base. We were going to get Yen from the ATM, then we were going to head to the train station in Central Sasebo. We drove to the Main Base downtown, and we stopped at the NEX, because they have an ATM that dispenses Yen. Ty was going to get the money, then park the car in long term parking while I got our bags loaded into a cab. I hopped out of the car while Ty walked to the ATM. I poked my head back in to tell Nathan to get out of the car, then I bent over to grab my purse. The moment I bent over I felt a huge warm gush, like I had peed my pants. I knew immediately my water was breaking, but just to check I attempted to cut off the flow as if it were pee. Sure enough, my clenched muscles had no effect on the amniotic fluid now soaking my yoga pants. I stood up and called across the parking lot, “Ty! My water just broke!” He turned to me with a face full of confusion and asked, “WHAT?” “My water just broke!” I said apologetically. Tyson walked toward me, and looked at the puddle at my feet, then looked at my sodden pants and said, “Yeah. Yeah your water did break…Well, lucky the hospital is right here.” Then we started to laugh hysterically. After all the stress of trying to arrange travel, and having an inexperienced staff making things difficult for us all the way up to the day before , and now we weren’t even going on the trip. I realized that this also meant I’d have to have a C-Section, but in my surprised state, I couldn’t think of an alternate solution. It seemed like fate or God’s will or something had determined that we weren’t going to Yokosuka after all. We put a towel on the seat, and hopped back in the car. Needless to say, Nathan was very confused. We drove across the parking lot to the medical clinic on base, and told them to contact a translator to meet us at the local hospital. Then we drove the half mile down the road to Sogo, the Japanese hospital downtown. We parked the car, and made our way to the rear entrance of the hospital, because it was still well before the normal business hours. We then spent several minutes miming to the security guard and to a nurse about what was happening. Finally the security guard seemed to catch on, and said something to the nurse in rapid Japanese. The nurses eyes widened, and she asked questions in Japanese while cradling an imaginary baby. I assumed that this meant she understood, so I nodded. The nurse rushed off and had us wait for several minutes while she made some calls. While we waited, the area around us filled with people. Finally we were ushered to an elevator, and taken upstairs to the maternity ward. I was relieved to change into a dry hospital gown, and was put on a table for examination. The doctor came into the room and examined me, and determined me to be dilated 3cm.  In broken English he told me I would have to have a C- Section. I told him I understood, even though I wasn’t happy about it. I still wasn’t having labor pains, but I really needed the restroom. The nurses wouldn’t let me walk to the bathroom because I was still leaking amniotic fluid, and they were afraid I’d slip, so I had to be wheeled down the hall to the restroom in a wheelchair. After going to the bathroom things changed for me. I began to have small contractions every so often, but I was still quite cheerful. I waited two hours for a translator to arrive at the hospital. When she finally arrived, I was prepped for the surgery. I was given three IVs and was brought to an OR by myself. We were terribly upset to be told that Tyson couldn’t be present in the operating room when Stella was born, but that’s not how things are done in Japan. So I went alone into the room,and as I lay waiting to be operated on, I noticed that the bright operating light overhead said Stellar on it, and I took it as a good omen. I was given general anesthesia, I’m not sure if it’s Japanese policy not to put someone to sleep before they are put under the anesthesia, or if there was some other reason, but I was fully conscious as my body started to go numb from the feet up. When the paralysis reached my chest I began to panic. I could feel that I was no longer able to draw a breath, and I felt like I was going to die. I began thrashing around on the table, and the doctors and nurses attempted to hold me down while asking if I was ok.  I tried several times to say “I can’t breathe,” but when I saw the look of confusion on the translator’s face I realized I couldn’t speak, and I felt in that moment that there was nothing I could do. I reasoned  if I stopped breathing they would eventually notice and begin life saving action, so I said a little prayer that God would take care of me. Then I figured  that I might be with Him very soon so I took comfort, and I closed my eyes and lost consciousness. Stella was born at 10:47, and put in an isolette then wheeled out to be viewed by her daddy and Nathan. Then she was put in the NICU.

  I remember dreaming, but I don’t remember what I dreamed about. When I woke up, I could hear the Japanese voices all around me. I felt myself being wheeled down the hall, and I told the nurses that I was “genki” which is good in Japanese. I answered a few more questions in my limited Japanese. And when I was finally able to open my eyes and look around I was in a room with Tyson and Nathan and several nurses. I asked after Stella, and was told she was in the NICU. I assumed this was precautionary as well, so I accepted that I’d see her once they were done making sure she was ok. We were given the option of having Ty sleep on a mattress next to my hospital bed for 300 Yen per night, but Nathan would have to go to a babysitter. We are lucky to have some really good friends here in Japan, so we asked if Nathan could spend the night at their house, and that’s how Nathan had his first sleepover at a friend’s house! I wasn’t allowed to eat, which annoyed me because for once I was so hungry! It was much different than when I had Nathan in that regard! I was also told not to drink anything, but completely ignored that. I sipped water slowly at first to be sure I wouldn’t get sick. When I didn’t vomit, I drank as much as I wanted. Which horrified the nurses when I told them the next morning. Ty and I spent that first night trying unsuccessfully to sleep. I tearfully told him about the fear I had experienced in the operating room, and we comforted each other over our disappointment that he was unable to be with me during that time. I prayed for Stella, and waited anxiously until I could see her.

The next day as soon as the visiting hours began, I was wheeled over to the NICU. I looked at my tiny baby in the Isolette, and I was so sad for her. She looked so tiny, with an IV in her hand, a tube down her throat, another tube going up her nose, heart monitors on her chest and an Oxygen saturation monitor on her ankle. I wanted badly to hold her, but was told she needed to stay in the isolette . She was jaundiced, her Oxygen saturation was too low so she needed Oxygenated air, and she was hypoglycemic. Her lungs were filled with fluid because she was born prematurely and hadn’t been squeezed through the birth canal, which often prevents that problem. The fluid filling her lungs was the reason her Oxygen saturation was low, and the reason for the tube down her throat. The tube was forcing air into her belly to try and push the fluid out. The visiting hours weren’t long, so Ty and I took advantage of every moment. We quickly established a routine for visitation. I went in the moment the NICU was open and spent the time with my arm pushed through the little holes in the side stroking Stella’s back until Tyson arrived, then since Nathan wasn’t allowed in the NICU we put on DVDs for him on Ty’s laptop while we met with the pediatrician. Nathan was amazing. He would sit so quietly while we had our meeting each day, and then when I came back to my room he would hang out with me while we waited for Ty to have his time with Stella. Then the three of us would eat dinner together, before I went to the evening visitation. After Ty had his evening visit, the three of us would hang out until the general visiting hours were over, and then the guys would head home. Stella recovered in leaps and bounds. The first day after she was born we were told that her blood sugar had stabilized,  On the second day after Stella was born,  we were happy to see that she no longer needed the tube in her nose to breathe. However, while I visited I noticed her gagging . I asked the nurses if the tube was irritating her, and they told me no, it was because she was hungry. I was heartbroken by the idea of my child being so hungry she was gagging.  I tried not to cry for the rest of the day, and I prayed several times for my baby. When I was finally alone that evening I allowed myself to cry all of the tears and I cried out to God from my mother’s heart. I begged that God would help Stella recover enough to eat the next day, even if it was just from a bottle. I couldn’t stand the idea of my baby going hungry. I went to sleep that night with tears in my eyes, and I woke every two hours and expressed milk at the breast pump in preparation for Stella. I wanted there to be plenty of milk available for her when she could finally eat. The next day was Stella’s third full day in the NICU. I was so happy to walk into the NICU and see her without the tube down her throat, and I was elated when my prayers were answered and the nurses allowed me to feed my baby. I was grateful for the privacy screens the nurses had set up, because I cried the entire time I fed Stella. This was not only the first time I got to hold her, it was the first time she was able to eat! I was so relieved. My baby was getting better, and she was no longer hungry. The next day was Stella’s last day in the NICU.  We were able to cuddle her the entire visit. The pediatrician told us that on Thursday she would be allowed out of the NICU, and that if her bilirubin count  stayed steady or improved she would be allowed to go home on Sunday when I was discharged.

The next three days the four of us spent our days cuddled in my bed, napping, watching DVDs and taking little walks up and down the halls. The weather was sunny and beautiful, and I felt bad for Nathan being cooped up all week. I sent him and Ty down to the nearby park to take advantage of the sunshine. The nurses were wonderful, and extremely tolerant of Nathan’s occasional exuberance. The time I spent in the hospital was educational, I learned so much about the Japanese culture, and the language. I really enjoyed the people, who are very lovely and kind. Still, I was ready to go home when finally on Sunday morning Stella and I were discharged from the hospital. It was pouring outside! We made the short trip back to base, and had lunch at Chili’s, bought the diapers we had neglected to buy because we thought we had more time, and we made our way back home.

Now my little girl is three months old, she was 6lbs.7oz. at birth, and now she’s pushing 11lbs! She is a morning person, who smiles at me the moment she wakes up. She loves to watch faces, and she gurgles and coos whenever someone talks to her. We are so blessed to have two healthy beautiful children. Nathan is so loving to his little sister, and it warms my heart to watch him play with her.  Stella has brought so much love into our little family, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.